Jerry Seinfeld is living the sweet life in Seinfeld. By day, he hangs out with one of his pals. By night, he entertains the comedy club with his stand-up set and cheeky social observations. Seinfeld is essentially a sitcom about nothing. There’s no overarching arc that binds together all episodes into one singular, existential theme. It’s a show that portrays the everyday New Yorkers’ lives of Jerry, George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), and Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards) as they encounter whatever the universe throws at them on any given day.
Unfortunately, some stories don’t hit the mark. Although they’re still interesting to watch, certain things in Seinfeld shouldn’t be made into a joke — you might as well spare the extra 20 minutes or so watching a much better episode. Without further ado, here are the episodes of Seinfeld I always skip on a rewatch.
10
“The Puerto Rican Day”
Season 9, Episode 20
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer just want to reach their respective destinations. But by the time they reach Fifth Avenue, the entire street is closed for the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Jerry gets into a petty argument with a fellow driver, George is taunted by some guy with a laser pen, Kramer relinquishes the festivities, and Elaine tries to escape the traffic jam, to no success.
…To pin the blame on a festivity celebrated by a certain ethnic group isn’t the most sensible creative choice.
Sure, New York traffic jams are the worst. But to pin the blame on a festivity celebrated by a certain ethnic group isn’t the most sensible creative choice. Nearing the end of the episode, Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire, prompting festival attendees to go violent and trash Jerry’s convertible — definitely not the best representation of a community that’s long struggled for belonging in America.
9
“The Chinese Woman”
Season 6, Episode 4
When George’s phone line gets tangled up with a stranger, Jerry finds himself acquainted with a mysterious stranger by the name of Donna Chang (Angela Dohrmann). Assuming she’s Chinese, mainly because of her last name, he asks her out on a date. To his surprise, Donna Chang is a white, blonde woman from Long Island. As for her last name, “Chang,” it’s actually short for Changstein.
There’s also the gag surrounding Donna Chang, who, despite being white, exhibits stereotypical Asian behaviors…
“The Chinese Woman” is hard to stomach because of its racist microaggressions. Jerry is insisting he loves Asian women, which is ironic because his opening joke makes fun of the Chinese using chopsticks. There’s also the gag surrounding Donna Chang, who, despite being white, exhibits stereotypical Asian behaviors (e.g., pronouncing “Ls” as “Rs,” taking acupuncture classes, and sharing Confucian knowledge).
8
“The Stake-Out”
Season 1, Episode 2
The recently broken-up Jerry and Elaine might be on good terms now. But when Jerry accompanies his former fling to a dinner, he learns that Elaine isn’t comfortable watching the man flirt with other women. When Jerry returns home, he regrets not asking for the name of a beautiful lawyer he met on the occasion. Knowing Elaine’s still bitter about his cheeky interaction, he searches for the mystery woman behind her back.
…The stand-up comedian decides to just wait for her at one of her offices and wait for her to show up in the lobby…
The only knowledge Jerry has of the woman is the law firm she works at: Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim, and Taft. Upon the insistence of Jerry’s father (Philip Bruns), the stand-up comedian decides to just wait for her at one of her offices and wait for her to show up in the lobby; hence, “The Stake Out.” Stalking might’ve looked cute back then, but these days, it’s just creepy and borderline harassment. Plus, ex-flings or not, Jerry is a jerk for not paying attention to Elaine during dinner.
7
“The Cafe”
Season 3, Episode 7
A Pakistani man by the name of Babu Bhatt (Brian George) opens a continental café across from Jerry’s apartment. However, the particular spot where the café is located is infamous for its lack of customers — every business that once opened there eventually goes bankrupt. Noticing the empty café, Jerry decides to be the good guy and go there by himself.
…Jerry’s act of goodwill only stems from his ego, and not out of sincerity.
“The Cafe” sees Jerry playing the good ole’ American savior, trying to help out an immigrant’s failing business. In reality, Jerry’s act of goodwill only stems from his ego, and not out of sincerity. Jerry is also the one who suggests that Babu start selling authentic Pakistani food instead. Obviously, the change backfires, and Babu feels ridiculous for following Jerry’s advice in the first place.
6
“The Cigar Store Indian”
Season 5, Episode 10
Jerry is supposed to drive Elaine to her poker night, but after a change of plans, Elaine is forced to take the subway. To make up for her, Jerry purchases a Native American statue as a token of apology – and so that he can make himself look good in front of Winona (Kimberly Guerrero), Elaine’s poker pal. Things go sideways when Winona becomes offended by Jerry’s gift. Apparently, she’s Native American.
…Jerry purchases a Native American statue as a token of apology…
“The Cigar Store Indian” doesn’t shy away from being blatantly insensitive towards the indigenous community. There’s the sacred statue of it all, which Jerry treats like some random gift shop purchase. Also, the subplot where Elaine gets stalked by some stranger she encounters on the subway isn’t funny — it’s dangerously creepy.
5
“The Wizard”
Season 9, Episode 15
Jerry flies out to Florida to celebrate his dad’s (Barney Martin) birthday at his parents’ retirement home. To his surprise, Kramer, who officially retires from “the hustle” after optioning his coffee table book, purchases an apartment right next to Jerry’s parents. Back in New York, Elaine questions if her new boyfriend, Darryl (Samuel Bliss Cooper), is hiding part of his identity.
…Darryl’s race shouldn’t be Elaine’s business in the first place.
“The Wizard” becomes problematic the moment Elaine and Jerry discuss Darryl’s race. Jerry claims he’s Black, or biracial at best. This prompts Elaine to do some inappropriate snooping. Whether it’s getting Darryl to fill out a “race” form or asking him about his South African decor, it all comes to an embarrassing conclusion. Either way, Darryl’s race shouldn’t be Elaine’s business in the first place.
4
“The Diplomat’s Club”
Season 6, Episode 22
Jerry squeezes in an out-of-town gig before he meets his fling, Bridgette (Berta Waagfjord), at the airport’s Diplomat’s Club. But when the pilot takes offense to one of his schticks, Jerry’s flight back home gets disrupted. Meanwhile, George got on the wrong foot after telling his African-American boss, Morgan (Tom Wright), that he looked like Sugar Ray Leonard.
Ironically, George’s actions only make him even more racist…
In George’s defense, his Sugar Ray comment didn’t come from malicious intent (at its worst, it’s just plain ignorance). What became the problem in “The Diplomat’s Club” is when George tries to gather every Black person he knows to prove that he’s not racist. Ironically, George’s actions only make him even more racist, as he tokenizes Black people as if they’re some moral attribute to his superficial character.
3
“Male Unbonding”
Season 1, Episode 4
Jerry is annoyed when his childhood friend, Joel Horneck (Kevin Dunn), reaches out to him. The only problem is that Jerry isn’t a fan of the friendship: Horneck is crass, talks way too much, and is just on a different wavelength with Jerry. But when Jerry tries to break up the friendship, he can’t bear to see him weep in public. To make up for it, Jerry gives him tickets to the Knicks, which were meant for George.
“Male Unbonding” shows just how fragile Jerry’s masculinity is.
“Male Unbonding” shows just how fragile Jerry’s masculinity is. When George suggests that Jerry break up the friendship, Jerry responds by saying that men do not do such things. Apparently, breaking up should only happen between men and women. After all, men don’t talk about feelings. They only go on about sports and sex.
2
“The Tape”
Season 3, Episode 8
Jerry, George, and Kramer receive the shock of their lives when they discover a sensual voiceover on his tape recorder. At the diner, George learns that it was Elaine who recorded the voiceover, all for a joke. While Elaine thinks it’s no big deal, George starts seeing her in a different light. In a matter of days, he becomes attracted to her.
“The Tape” sees Jerry, George, and Kramer going complete goo-goo ga-ga over a pornographic-esque voiceover…
“The Tape” sees Jerry, George, and Kramer going complete goo-goo ga-ga over a pornographic-esque voiceover, which comes across as creepy. What’s worse is that George’s attraction to Elaine doesn’t stem from a genuine feeling. He’s only obsessed with her because of how hot she sounds.
1
“The Mango”
Season 5, Episode 1
It’s all about the big-O in “The Mango”: orgasms. George has a hard time satisfying his partner, Karen (Lisa Edelstein), down there. Meanwhile, Elaine casually tells Jerry that she faked her orgasms the entire time she was in a relationship with him. Jerry takes this to offense, prompting him to get very petty with the frustrated Elaine.
…Elaine casually tells Jerry that she faked her orgasms the entire time she was in a relationship with him.
The whole gag about a man’s ability to please women is funny at first. But the more Jerry gets angry about it with Elaine, the more cringey the episode becomes. The fact that Jerry’s pride is attached to his ability to perform in bed is fragile masculinity at best. If that’s not bad enough, he has to call six of his previous sexual partners just to confirm if he’s given them an orgasm or not.